my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
