I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
