im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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