I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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