I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize