Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
