nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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