So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize