that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
