I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
