I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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