So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
