had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
