hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she smelled like a LAN party
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize