respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
