the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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