I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
