we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
