did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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