im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
