i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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