Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
