I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
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we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
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I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize