so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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