it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
