Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
