im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
