ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
