i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
