Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
