beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize