Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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