trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
