love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
