Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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