Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i think my mom watched the whole time
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
