Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
