Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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