you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize