If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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