So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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