how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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