do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
