i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
