i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
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