you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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