I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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