"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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