Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?

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(818): View more from California

I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up

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(973): View more from New Jersey

my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(702): View more from Nevada

I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success

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