i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
