remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
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I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
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I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success