Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him