Texts From Last Night

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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.

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  (479): She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction. http://tfl.nu/io12
  Replies (2) Good night (741) Bad night (761)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.

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  (305): He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong. http://tfl.nu/8xt9
  Replies (6) Good night (876) Bad night (1442)
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  (315): View more from New York

  i think i just puked on my phone

  (1-315): View more from New York

  we live great lives

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  (315): i think i just puked on my phone (1-315): we live great lives http://tfl.nu/f3zx
  Replies (10) Good night (1901) Bad night (783)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.

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  (605): We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink. http://tfl.nu/ugbw
  Replies (60) Good night (13865) Bad night (847)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk

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  (612): I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk http://tfl.nu/r6qp
  Replies (8) Good night (4602) Bad night (1158)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.

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  (815): just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet. http://tfl.nu/j91e
  Replies (7) Good night (3303) Bad night (1012)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"

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  (918): As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy" http://tfl.nu/glce
  Replies (9) Good night (3192) Bad night (890)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition

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  (425): the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition http://tfl.nu/w42o
  Replies (11) Good night (4089) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are

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  (303): I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned. (720): Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed? (303): my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are http://tfl.nu/22n0
  Replies (9) Good night (3805) Bad night (1276)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?

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  (405): All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask? http://tfl.nu/wsyz
  Replies (12) Good night (2293) Bad night (527)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...

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  (503): Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night... http://tfl.nu/z9ky
  Replies (9) Good night (619) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything

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  (304): I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything http://tfl.nu/gg1p
  Replies (6) Good night (1166) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.

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  (402): I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that. http://tfl.nu/01r4
  Replies (11) Good night (618) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.

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  (870): There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked. http://tfl.nu/ccaq
  Replies (6) Good night (540) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.

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  (765): Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares. http://tfl.nu/7uu2
  Replies (4) Good night (781) Bad night (229)

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