Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me

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  (973): RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO (908) dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me http://tfl.nu/s889
  Replies (27) Good night (4146) Bad night (952)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic

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  (917): She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic http://tfl.nu/5xzq
  Replies (37) Good night (5151) Bad night (1485)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.

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  (304): My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within. http://tfl.nu/zogn
  Replies (10) Good night (744) Bad night (3321)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i think girls just don't want to fuck you

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  (908): the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father (973): i think girls just don't want to fuck you http://tfl.nu/fr5s
  Replies (31) Good night (2185) Bad night (6112)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.

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  (270): Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse. http://tfl.nu/tvyi
  Replies (19) Good night (3658) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"

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  (425): They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!" http://tfl.nu/9fc7
  Replies (3) Good night (3475) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?

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  (503): He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads? http://tfl.nu/30tf
  Replies (7) Good night (2741) Bad night (644)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.

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  (325): I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms. http://tfl.nu/f5mq
  Replies (6) Good night (1818) Bad night (2050)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?

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  (408): Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar? http://tfl.nu/xsyo
  Replies (6) Good night (1770) Bad night (694)
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  (310): View more from California

  It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw

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  (310): It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw http://tfl.nu/ozdy
  Replies (12) Good night (2811) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?

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  (503): Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them? http://tfl.nu/lznr
  Replies (9) Good night (1342) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.

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  (501): Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago. http://tfl.nu/csbb
  Replies (6) Good night (1208) Bad night (377)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.

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  (773): my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka. http://tfl.nu/3a5u
  Replies (0) Good night (548) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town

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  (760): My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town http://tfl.nu/5sn6
  Replies (0) Good night (989) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'

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  (508): oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future' http://tfl.nu/w2au
  Replies (8) Good night (615) Bad night (279)

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