What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
