You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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