Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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