I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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