Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
