Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
