Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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