He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
