so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
