5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
