After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
