she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
