its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
