my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
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All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
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btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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