So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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