Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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